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Joke of the Day

"My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit"

"Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a blow job? You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a blow job"

"BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose! The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!"

"Scott Stapp thinks he's Bono. Six Feet From The Edge."

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"

"Kindness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting."

"*comes home from poker night earlier than usual looks at wife while picking up the dog and leaves without saying anything*"

"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"

"Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious."

"Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!"