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Joke of the Day

"Britain is like a man on a toilet... It just wanted to get rid of that shit and leave."

"Tomorrow you'll be able to stop hating people for their political views and go back to hating them for their personality!"

"what comes after the bar? f. as in barf because drinking can make people barf .. f could also mean fuck because drinking can make people fuck that is all"

"I was fired from my job as a mortician after I was caught having sex on the job I guess it was the final nail in the coffin."

"Did you hear about the Jewish boy... ...that asked his father for $5? His dad replied with, ""FOUR DOLLARS?! What the hell do you need $3 for?!"""

"Difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai What's difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai? People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones But people in Abu Dhabi Do!!"

"After God had finished creating 24 hours of alternating light and darkness... One of his angels asked him what he was going to do next. He said, ""I think I'm going to call it a day."""

"Cops: You were driving while intoxicated Me: I was in no condition to walk"

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred? . . . . . The top ans was . . . . . GET the hell outta of my bathroom!"

"Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan."