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Joke of the Day

"I don't always tell dad jokes... But when I do, he laughs."

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"I woke up with an erection this morning... I beat it single handed"
"Jurassic Park, but all of the raptors are played by Jim Carrey."
"The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action."
"Me: Anyone else get the feeling their being watched? ... CIA: They're*"
"Did you hear the founders of New York City were Jewish..... Who else can buy the most valuable land in the world for 26 seashells."
"Are you gluten or something? Because you're inbred"
"Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious."
"What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!"
"How do punctuation marks get freaky? The comma sutra"