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Joke of the Day

"Scientists researched if cheetahs could drive more than 60mph The results were catastrophic"

"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."

"Knock Knock? Who is there? Willis. Willis who? Willis d**k fit in your mouth?"

"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? JESUS Jesus who? EXACTLY"

"What's long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine filled with cum."

"I was trying to chose a password for my email, but I was not able to... I had chosen BrazilianDefense, but apparently it was too weak."

"I shadowed an opthamolologic surgeon today. The experience was really eye opening."

"Why did team USA get a silver in Men's Diving? Because Steele Johnson always comes second."

"What's common to the cockpit of a modern fighter aircraft and the inside of a headhunter's hut? The heads-up display"

"My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night."