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Joke of the Day

"Get out of any speeding ticket by assuring the officer that you're already miserable and adequately beaten down by life."

"Wynona Ryder was great in Stranger Things. She stole the show"

"A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop."

"FUN FACT: Bears hibernate in the winter just to get away from Christmas music..."

"Where does Noah keep his bees? In the Ark Hives"

"What do you call a beach with crooked waves? [OC] A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)"

"Justice Prevail for Morons"

"What would be a good title for an Indian porno? Thank You, Cum Again"

"My mum asked me if I had taken my lizard for a walk... ... I told her I was goanna do it later."

"I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?"