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Joke of the Day

"So Muhammad Ali died recently and... I made the huge mistake telling my Muslim friend."

"Whenever I hear a Mexican talking excitedly, I always imagine him explaining food, soccer or that someone is stuck in a barbed wire fence."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have children? He cums down the chimney."

"Patron: Hey there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?"

"Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support."

"I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole."

"If your lawyer has a ponytail you're going to prison."

"Just by looking at her smile, I can tell how good a girl is at oral... hygiene."

"What does a baby computer call it's father? Data. Credit: Her (movie)."

"What happened when Helium told a joke? There was no reaction"