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Joke of the Day

"Had sex with my first bernie supporter the other day... I now feel the bern"

"DIY - previous owners thought a bright red living room a good idea. 12 coats of heavy duty primer later... This Kilz the walls."

"My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish."

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."

"What Do You Call A Group... Of both crows and ducks, of which the ratio is 80% ducks and 20% crows? A murder most fowl."

"What's the difference between a seagull and a baby? The seagull flits along the shore, the baby shits along the floor."

"How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because feminist can't change anything."

"What do you call a Polish airplane? A Jet-ski."

"I would have bought Battlefront EA If the Rancor wasn't a Dead one."

"Trump is the 45th President of the United States. Aren't you proud fellow Americans."