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Joke of the Day

"Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?"

"[inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls"

"What's the difference between hardware and software? Hardware breaks if you*don't* maintain it."

"When a door closes... and incognito window opens."

"If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer."

"....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass."

"Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again."

"What do you call a five foot psychic that escapes from jail? A small medium at large."

"Ever hear of an Australian kiss Its like a French kiss except its ""down unda"""

"I'm ready for the cop-buddy film where they actually get along in the beginning but hate each other by the end."