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Joke of the Day

"When a door closes... and incognito window opens."

"Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength I may just beat someone to death."

"What is 12 inches long and hangs infront of a cunt? Trump's tie"

"I overheard my neighbor tell someone on the phone that I was creepy. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under the bed & confronted her."

"[Spoiler] Mark Hamill Star Wars joke Mark Hamill is such a loser he didn't even get a single word in the new Star Wars"

"Jew problems An old jew comes to a rabbi and says: ""Please help me, my son became a christian!"" The rabbi replies: ""i can't help you, god has the same problem."""

"In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now."

"What do you call a Jewish New Zealander? Hebrew"

"How do you make the spying NSA frustrated?"

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."