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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sick of this new year's jokes I've been hearing them all year."

"I like my Presidents like I like my porn saved"

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"- Judy, you have such a great taste! - Steve, stop biting me!"

"Which US national park is most welcoming to Hebrews? Yosemite!"

"Kinda scared for 2015 .. Kinda scared for 2015 because 2+0+1+5 is 8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 6 more nipples."

"Does anyone know how much a blimp is worth? I was going to google it, but I was worried it wouldn't account for inflation."

"What do you call a criminal dwarf on an escalator? A little con-descending"

"What happened to the Italian chef when he died? He *pasta way*."

"I'm so upset- I threw a bukkake party last night, but it was a complete disaster. Nobody came."