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Joke of the Day

"What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine? They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen."

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."

"What do you call a fish with no eye's? a fsh"

"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"

"""I'm on my way."" -People who haven't even left the house yet."

"Single people think marriage is just a word ... Once you are married you realize it's a sentence."

"Two Men walk into a bar... ""Knock, Knock!""...... ""Who's there?"" says one. ""It's the doctor, you two walked into a pole, now tell me if your head hurts."""

"Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10"

"[pizza delivery] Girl: Is there an other way I can pay you? *bites lip* uh HELL YEAH! *pulls out phone* see that RT button?"

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."