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Joke of the Day

"I used to race motorcycles. Man, those things are a lot faster than me."

"What's the difference between a pedophile and a pro golfer? A pedophile always finishes in under 18 holes."

"Polls show that 80% of black males enjoy sex in the shower The other 20% had not gone to prison yet"

"What's the difference between 3 and 13? Nothing, they both have 1 3"

"So a man walks into a bar... and never comes back for my entire childhood. Where are you dad?"

"I'm not rich like Jack don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too but what was that you said about Martin !"

"Not all my tweets are true. For example if ""sex"" and ""lack"" are not in the same tweet then the polygraph will probably run out of ink."

"It's so sad... that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs"

"Why did the Irish woman only put 239 beans into her bean soup? Because 1 more would have been 240..."

"I realize I'm not good advising suicidal people I said ""hang in there!"""