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Joke of the Day

"How does a psychic open a bag of chips? They Tarot."

"A man walks up to a cop on a horse... ...wow! That's a nice pig you've got! \-- That's not a pig, sir, but a horse. \-- I'm not talking to you!"

"What do you call a Mexican at the bottom of the ocean? Pollution. What do you call every Mexican at the bottom of the ocean? Solution."

"If my DVR cuts off the last joke of my favorite sitcom one more time, I swear im gonn... **FREMULON**"

"When I'm at a restaurant and see 'secret sauce' on the menu, I immediately tell the people at the table next to me"

"We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy."

"I like my coffee like i like my women cold and bitter"

"Me: Do you think its strange to talk to yourself? Me: No."

"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"

"Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't Because Donald Duck."