61399

Joke of the Day

"I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now"

"The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is ""notice anything different?"""

"What do nerdy mermaids wear? Algae-bras"

"My girlfriend's brain is going 24/7... Like a 7/11, not anyways doing business but it's always open."

"Judge: Your client says he's mentally fit to stand trial correct?Lawyer: Yes, your honor.Judge: Then can you tell him to get out of my seat?"

"Ever hear of Henry, Santa's brown nosed reindeer? He is just as fast as Rodolph but couldn't stop as quickly."

"I saw a documentry on saving the planet They had some garbage facts"

"I met a dwarf the other day He was a pretty down to earth guy."

"Obama just said that no one is listening to our phones..I wonder if he realizes that the LAST thing we do with our phones is make a call!"

"New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."