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Joke of the Day
"What is a 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."
Next Joke
"So Helen Keller walks into a bar . . . . . . then she walks into a table, she knocks over a lamp, barks her shins on the ottoman, spills a drink . . . it's fine I'll show myself out."
"I need an ex-boyfriend so I have something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning."
"Have you heard the new Jingle for Subway? Five... five toddlers... five toddlers, touched dongs... pedo pedo pedo!"
"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."
"What is the leading cause of pedophilia in America? Sexy children."
"Why don't elephants like penguins? Because they can't get the wrapper off."
"YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any."
"What's brown and sticky? A stick"
"I'm open to change but not when it's sudden like Stephen Colbert getting new glasses with no warning"