11075
Joke of the Day
"Basic Instinct Star Cast in ""The Carpenters"" Biopic This summer: SHARON IS KAREN"
Next Joke
"Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair? Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck."
"There are 10 different kinds of people... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."
"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard"
"Person: Raise your glasses! Me: Hahaha! *raises bottle*"
"What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? A creature that sucks blood from your knees."
"Loan me a couple bucks? ""Sure"" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? ""..."" Can I even pay with these?"
"Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot. I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can."
"For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii... ...and for our 26th I plan to go back and get her."
"If God wanted to impress me with his 'miracles' he would've impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day."