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Joke of the Day

"Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me."

"If life gives you melons you're probably dyslexic"

"I know exactly where I stand on the controversial issue of female on male rape. In the corner, with a video camera."

"Why did the cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling a little crummy."

"wow if you dont pronounce 'testicles' like its the name of a greek warrior"

"What's a neckbeard's favorite country? M'laysia"

"I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger"

"what is worse than locking your keys in your car parked at planned parent hood? going inside to borrow a coat hanger"

"Some military humour: why do I call the ol' downstairs resident APFSDS? Because it's a long-rod kinetic penetrator!"

"Every time you watch Jersey Shore another book commits suicide"