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Joke of the Day

"Oh look! A guy with ""Stand-Up Comic"" in his bio unfollowed me two seconds after I followed back. That's never happened before."

"What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender says ""why the long face?"""

"BABY: WAAAAAAA- ME: Shhhh, it's okay. BABY: -AAAAAAAA- ME: shhhh.... BABY: -AAAAAALUIGI! ME: wtf BABY: (whispering) No one will believe you."

"Sex makes my day But anal makes my hole weak"

"99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh."

"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"I'm looking for the funniest short joke ever Not short as in small, short as in short"

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"My head and I are not on speaking terms this morning. I suddenly know what it's like to be a man."