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Joke of the Day

"So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper."

"62% of swimmers say they pee in the ocean....... now you know why SpongeBob is yellow."

"Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro."

"I like my women like I like my coffee, Not-tea"

"What do you call a mentally challenged lion? A leotard"

"""I'm THIRSTY!"" ""Can I have a drink?"" ""DAAAAAAAAD!"" ""I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!"" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God."

"a joke about pizza On second thoughts it's a bit too cheesy..."

"Do you know why newspapers don't print the pictures of all criminals? They would run out of black ink"

"""Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"" Me: ""Sometimes?"" ""Are you smarter than a 16 year old?"" Me: ""Always."""

"I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this *blew* up."