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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a beaver and a deer? The deer has a bigger beaver"

"What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog."

"The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow."

"Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway."

"Waiter what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder! I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !"

"""Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..."" *Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*"

"I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself."

"I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to f*ck off and buy my own."

"Mom u can stop cutting the crust off my bread now im in a gang"

"I failed my biology exam yesterday The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer."