222940

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between today's most sophisticated encryption that can still be cracked and the still uncracked ciphers of the Zodiac Killer? Ted Cruz"

"Whats the difference between a tractor and a giraffe? (first ever post in a year on reddit!) One has hydraulics and the other high bollocks! Brilliantly told by my Irish cousin."

"My stats teachet said I was just average What a mean thing to say"

"My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies"

"Why does no one like the swiss army? Because they are all a bunch of tools."

"Her:""my blinkers don't work I think I'm out of blinker fluid"" Me:""your car doesn't have blinker fluid."" Her:""I JUST SAID THAT PAY ATTENTION"""

"{newer version} I like my coffee like I like my slaves Dark, strong & black and locked inside somewhere so it cant leave. They must be cheap to purchase and it cant talk back to me."

"Teenager is on the verge of comiting suicide, calls the Suicide Line for help... Cops show up to help. They kill him so he doesn't commit suicide."

"Why did the Pussy Wagon fail the emissions test? It had a broken Catalytic converter."

"There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night."