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Joke of the Day

"""...and I would've won if it weren't for you meddling minorities, women, gays, young people..."" - Mitt Romney #ScoobyDooVillain"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? It's easy to make the same joke about 9/11."

"Saying that there is a huge-ass line at Wal-Mart is both ambiguous and redundant."

"Great feats are always about timing. You think Hitler would have killed that many Jews four thousand years ago?"

"Facebook users are demanding the old layout they actually hated when it was the new layout they previously didn't want."

"What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal"

"Remember when I pissed off Apollo? Those were dark times."

"teacher: are u a visual thinker, auditory thinker, or kinesthetic thinker me: oh im not a thinker"

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. JK Rowling."