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Joke of the Day

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"Ebo said ....said that Africa didn't have an awful disease. EBO lie"

"[Interview room] Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer Me: So where's my present?!"

"3 Nuns Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man approaches them and exposes himself to them. Two of the nuns have a stroke but the third one couldn't reach."

"The doctor told me to stay positive I have HIV"

"Teacher : Do you know the reason Manchester United lost to Arsenal ? Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind"

"Why do audiophiles nerver loose a fight? Because they're lossless."

"Does anyone get the urge to tweet something really bad just to see if the government is really paying attention to you?"

"No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark"

"*goes to watch youtube vid* BUFFER well okay *lifts weights* *checks again* BUFFER *does steroids* BUFFER ""WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME"""