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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why cannibals won't eat clowns? Because they taste *Funny*"

"Why don't witches wear panties? Because they need to grip the broom!"

"Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses? With breast tissue."

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."

"The Kennedys Everyone says Teddy Kennedy was the big alcoholic of the family. But when you think about it, it was John who was taking shots in the middle of his own parade!"

"[home depot] employee[yelling]: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE me: [yelling over the sound of revving chainsaw]: WHAT"

"What's the similarity between video games and roulette? Very fun until it goes Russian."

"Pollen count so high, junkies are trying to uncook their meth back to Sudafed."

"I dont care about all the ISIS jokes They all blow up."

"My ex wife asked me to check on her house while she was on vacation.... Google Earth says everything is just fine."