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Joke of the Day

"My ex wife asked me to check on her house while she was on vacation.... Google Earth says everything is just fine."

"Just another Saturday night at home alternating between sweet and salty snacks until I disgust myself enough to go to bed."

"I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like."

"Know how being wanted feels like? Just imagine how oil fields like"

"No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless"

"My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor."

"What is another term for ob gyn? A Klingon! since obstetrician gynaecologist is too long, and OB GYN doesn't make sense ,lets call them Klingons"

"Did you hear about the houseboat that crashed? Everything but the kitchen sank! lol it's shitty but this is what happens when i zone out at work"

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog."