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Joke of the Day

"whenever i see sombody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, i go up to them & whisper ""dont worry.. the sun is gonna come back tomorow"""

"Nothing better than shutting the door and jerking off after a long day And it's even better if the uber has heated seats"

"The Past Present and Future... The Past Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"My girlfriend started smoking So I slowed down and applied some lubricant."

"Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned."

"Why was the comedian with bad-ended jokes unpopular? Because everytime he told a joke people fainted in the end."

"How many cops do you need to change a light bulb? None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it."

"If you use a wrong word in a tweet and a grammar nazi loses his shit- Try these consoling words : ""Their, there, they're. It'll be okay"""

"Called my boss this morning. Told him I couldn't come in because I had anal glaucoma. ""Anal glaucoma?"" ""What's that?"" he asked. ""I just can't see my ass coming in today."""

"I'd tell you guys a pizza joke, but... ...it's cheesy."