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Joke of the Day

"How many cops do you need to change a light bulb? None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it."

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"I almost got raped in jail I think my family takes monopoly way too seriously"
"What kind of doctors do elephants become? Pachydermatologists"
"What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? An umbrella!"
"Why was there no food left at the Halloween party? Because everyone was a goblin"
"COP: [flashes his light into my car] ME: *struggles to roll down window* ""Sorry this isn't my car."""
"My girlfriend and I are always laughing about how competitive we are. I laugh more."
"The difference between me & normal people is the normal"
"*i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there* *i ask him politely to move* *he wont move* *i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*"
"The kids are asking why I'm wearing sunglasses in the house today. Spiked their morning OJ with vodka so we are on the same page."