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Joke of the Day

"When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress? I'd prefer if you included tigress"

"What's the strongest plant in the world? Eucaliftus"

"What's the Mexican version of the KKK? Que? Que? Que?"

"How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin? By looking over your shoulder."

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that's it - from this day forward, NO MORE READING!"

"How did the Scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in is field."

"What happens when Captain America drinks water? He becomes hydrated."

"My best friend keeps bagging me for being a virgin I haven't got the courage to tell him I slept with his sister."

"Our carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping and waking me up from my nap."