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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Doctor Who and Facebook? When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason."

"Whoever taught my five-year-old daughter how to ""air quote,"" I need to speak with you privately."

"What do you call Bob Marley when he wears glasses? Rasta-four-eyes"

"How Many Surrealists Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb? Fish"

"Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say ""I could've done that."""

"why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness"

"In solidarity with peaceful Muslim communities around the world, I believe America should finally elect it's first Muslim president to a third term."

"Why is fishing dangerous? Sometimes, there's a catch"

"Politics is an ""I'm not an asshole"" contest for assholes."

"What happened when two hydrogen atoms collided? The doctor had to heal-ium."