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Joke of the Day

"I'll never understand why anyone would buy one of those flesh-colored Volkswagen beetle cars, it's like driving a giant testicle."

"How do scientists celebrate Pirate Day? They get their Aaargh-On!"

"[talking to son on the phone] ""I ran away 3 weeks. You never called the police"" I'm sorry. We've been very busy with the holidays and all."

"What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common? they are both 8........"

"A man seeking to lose some of his excess weight visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off."

"Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree"

"If you're on the exercise bike in front of mine, I'm sorry, but we are spies, and I am frantically chasing you through the streets of Italy."

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt. He says to the bartender ""one for me and one for the road""."

"I judge a book by it's cover when the cover is a picture worth 1000 words."

"A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police"