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Joke of the Day

"Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions"

"I'm curious about the French flag. When did they add the blue and red stripes?"

"When I get startled, I scream in a really deep voice instead of my normal one. Cause if I'm going to be freaked out, you should be too."

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty five year olds? There are twenty of them."

"What kind of meat does The Pope eat? Nun"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender confuses jokes with idioms, and offers the horse water but can't make it drink."

"What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception? Parents."

"Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

"What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough)."

"THERAPIST: Well, if you know what's good for you... ME: [Holds up hand] ""Let me stop you right there"""