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Joke of the Day

"Not now brain... ...this is a job for stupidity."

"Lighten up your drive-thru experience by saying ""I just need two buns"" into the speaker then pulling up with a live cow in your backseat."

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Just ask a glass of water! -Douglas Adams"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."

"The best racist joke What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"Don't get a Jamaican hairdo... I did and I have been dreading it ever since."

"What's the difference between a government bond and a man? *The bond matures.*"

"Why don't my dog and my cat get along? She's a Re-puppy-can and he's a Demo-cat!"

"DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay but you're still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]"

"You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it's acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch."