185369

Joke of the Day

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !"

"""Hey Daddy!!! Watch what I can do!!"" - aaaaaaaaand hospital."

"""OH MY GOD YOU'RE A DOG HEY SMELL ME I'M A DOG TOO"" - dogs"

"Join the war against masturbation!!! We can beat it together!!!"

"Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure."

"other 21 year olds: going on dates, bein cool, having fun me: trying to become friends w/ the birds outside my house by offering them bread"

"Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine."

"I've matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff"

"Me: ""Do you think it's strange to talk to yourself?"" Me: ""No."""