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Joke of the Day

"I saw a woman about to jump off a cliff. ""You want to have sex first"", I asked. She said, ""no"" so I said ""OK, I'll wait for you at the bottom!"""

"My penis is so long When i put it on my keyboard, it covers all the way from A to Z"

"There is always that one person you want to punch for no reason every-time you see them."

"How do you milk an almond?"

"From my girlfriend's boss: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"What type of bees produce milk? Boo-bees!"

"The other day my buddy asked me if I wanted a warm Budweiser I replied, "" No its fine, I brought my own piss, ill just drink that. """

"Ebola gives new meaning to the phrase 'Eat Shit and Die.' Credit to my brother for coming up with that one!"

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and dead babies? I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a Lamborghini."

"Dating: *prances around in underwear and his t-shirt* Marriage: *Unzips footed unicorn onesie* Do you think this mole is cancer?"