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Joke of the Day
"There is always that one person you want to punch for no reason every-time you see them."
Next Joke
"Instead of my usual Monday snark I'm going to be upbeat and have a great day LOLJK today will ass rape my spirit animal with its angry fist."
"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"
"What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Fresh Jews."
"5% of America thinks we're doing well. The other 95% thinks we could do gooder."
"When someone with a lisp says bismuth... You know they mean business."
"Maybe we laugh when others get hurt because it helps us cope with mortality but probably we're just dicks."
"Today I checked my privilege... [] Privilege"
"When your girlfriend says ""I love you"" reply with ""I love you more!"" Because relationships are competitions that must be won."
"The best part of being single is being able to sleep around... You get to sleep all over your bed. Left, right, diagonal, or in the middle."