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Joke of the Day

"How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole."

Next Joke
 
"Me: if u take an opinion and subtract 3.14, you're just left with onion. pretty crazy huh Girl at the bar im flirting with: *takes 9 shots*"
"Do you like tapes and CDs? Other person: Yes Me: Good, so I can tape my dick to your forehead so you can see these nuts."
"I wish work was like high school when I could just poop my pants to get sent home."
"I asked my Dad, ""Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?"" ""Your mom's sister."""
"So Kim Jong Un helps a little girl's starving family Oops I put the punchline in the title"
"How do you make seven even? Take the s off."
"If Adrian Peterson is getting indicted for spanking his kid with a stick my mom should get the electric chair."
"Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal."
"I just put a bunch of lipstick up my butt. (NSFW) I've suddenly realized that makeup sex is highly overrated."