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Joke of the Day

"Do you like tapes and CDs? Other person: Yes Me: Good, so I can tape my dick to your forehead so you can see these nuts."

"I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on."

"Who does Santa think he is, judging me?! I might be naughty, but he's fat."

"What do you call a man that marries another man? A minister! Courtesy of a patient."

"Nine years ago today 19 men came to my doorstep expecting 72 virgins. Little did they know how fucked they were going to be."

"Why do stoners spend so much money? because they're high rollers"

"Little Jack Warner Sat in the corner A finger in every pie. He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a bung And said ""Lets all go to Dubai!"""

"Donald Trump's Best Friend Donald Trump was talking about his best friend, ""Eugene Wall."" He said that he liked to call him ""Euge"" for short."

"I love the smell of my F5 key... It's just so refreshing!"

"My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss."