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Joke of the Day

"I told my son I'm a motherfucker...... He was like. ""You fuck mothers...... lesbo."" I replied. "" Ain't a lesbo if it's myself."""

"Society is so PC nowadays, you can't even say ""Ho ho ho"" You have to say ""Jessica, Patricia, and Michaela"""

"Does the FBI really investigate aliens like on the X-Files? No, that's what the INS does."

"What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist? Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI"

"Why did the stoner go to the chapel? To marry Jane"

"What Egyptian King called for equal farting rights for all? Toot-in-common"

"What does a lonely pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."

"Someone asked me, ""What's the difference the testes and the penis?"" I said, ""Well, there's a vas deferens between them."""

"Two necrophiliacs are walking down the street when they pass a morgue. The first necrophiliac says to the second ""Want to stop in for a couple of cold ones?"""

"Maybe installing Freudian Autocorrect was not the breast idea."