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Joke of the Day

"An athiest, a redditor, and a narassist walked into a bar... He was immediately thrown out for being under 21"

"I like my coffee like I like my woman... No pubic hair."

"My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He's black."

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... ...you've seen a mall"

"Did you hear about the swingers.. that got kicked out of the swap meet?"

"Wife: Could you be dehydrated? Me: Of course not. W: How much water have you had? Me: Two coffees & a bourbon. W: Wow. Me: Told you."

"Just made eye contact with an old guy as he slowly licked an ice cream cone. Great, like I don't have enough shit keeping me up at night."

"MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt"

"One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you."

"dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests date 5: i don't think the moon is real"