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Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"You can't let me into the club? Maybe my friend Benjamin Franklin can persuade you... *comes back 45 mins later in a bad wig, holding a kite*"

"I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi. You can imagine my disappointment."

"Abortion is an out of body experience for fetuses"

"Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating..."

"Hey girl, I'm an Aries... Wanna get rammed?"

"Why are Women and Children evacuated first in a Disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... It's not like I have 2020 vision"

"Real frogs call him Kermit The Fraud."