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Joke of the Day

"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten""tickles"""

"Why did Johnny teach the cockatoo to do a front flip? So he could say he flipped the bird. ^I'm^not^very^good^at^these"

"The only way to make a cat like you is to cancel plans with them and ignore their text messages."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff!"

"There was this group on Facebook called Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat'. So I became a fan."

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

"I said 'no' to drugs But I don't think they're listening"

"Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"I just can't wrap my head around decapitation."

"Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses."