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Joke of the Day

"A black woman called Betty came into my restaurant the other day... She asked, ""Is there any chicken on the menu?"" I replied, ""No black Betty, it's ham or lamb"""

"Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it's given me another reason to stare at their tits."

"Age 15: I wanna live in a mansion Age 25: Ok a big house, in a nice neighborhood Age 35: *googles 'Best Months to Live Outside'*"

"Fuck the man And make him a sandwich."

"What do Little Miss Muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have Kurds in their way."

"Wiping your ass is a lot like approaching a traffic light... Red means stop."

"I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers"

"What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger..."

"What do you get when an ice-cream truck breaks down on the side of the road? A cold shoulder."

"Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful? Because he has a magical staff."