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Joke of the Day
"My aquarium is missing quite a few parts #nofilter"
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"I told my girlfriend that I am over my ex... I don't have to feel guilty anymore."
"Never judge a man 'till you've driven a mile with his wife."
"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer But I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day..."
"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes."
"She died doing what she loved best, making toast in the bathtub."
"people are like ""pokemon is basically dogfighting"" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence"
"It's so hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs they take things literally"
"When an elevator stops at your floor, a nice thing to do is to hug the person next to you and say, ""This was fun. Let's keep in touch."""
"Vaginas are living proof... That beauty truly does lie on the inside."