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Joke of the Day

"When an elevator stops at your floor, a nice thing to do is to hug the person next to you and say, ""This was fun. Let's keep in touch."""

"The woman next to me on this rollercoaster won't stop screaming. Its like she's never seen a penis before."

"I haven't drawn in so long that I'm feeling sketchy"

"Teacher- ""How much is a gram?"" Me- ""Depends on what you want"" Teacher- ""Out, just get out"""

"Guantanamo Bae"

"""As a creative person I'm often asked where I get my ideas."" Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don't."

"What's the definition of a will? Come on, it's a dead giveaway!"

"I put a couple of t's in my beer last night. I think it made it better."

"What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"Hello police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well in that case please send over a pastrami sandwich!"