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Joke of the Day

"Never try to annoy someone with bird puns Because toucan play at that game."

"What do you call a stomach ache you get from eating a Cuban sandwich? Castro-intestinal distress."

"I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work."

"Q.) What happens when a Blonde eats a mosquito? A.) She has more brain cells in her stomach than her head."

"I won a fight that was five against one in Baltimore today. We totally kicked the shit out of that guy."

"The scientist a scientist went to a remote island with a dog in order to teach his speaking. Three years later, the scientist returns, and is asked about his experiment; he replied ""woof, woof, woof"""

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a spider What a web of lies!"

"Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He wanted to test out his new air brakes."

"What is the square root of 69? -*ate* somethin'."

"Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane. Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force."