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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You ever try to jelly it in her ass?"

"What's a Jewish Catch 22? Free Ham."

"With the rape allegations against Cosby... I guess we know what he meant by pudding pops. (I just made this up. Sorry if it's been posted.)"

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but... the new guy screwed everything up"

"I used to be a necrophiliac... until a rotten cunt split on me."

"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: we'll worry about him in an hour then"

"If there's three people, it's usually a threesome. If there's two people, it's called a twosome. And if a guy is single? He's usually called handsome."

"What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? We will get around to it sooner or later."

"He goes out for a run, and doesn't even stop to sniff any crotches. Humans are weird. ~Dogs."