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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a guy fucks a girl and never calls her again? A hit and run"

"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"

"A funeral stone: This is where rests in peace an attorney, a good and honorable man A guy passing buy is shocked: "" Wow! I never knew they can bury 3 people in the same grave."""

"Two Fish there was two fish in a tank and one of the fish said do you know how to drive this thing BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVEING THE TANK IN A WAR"

"How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill."

"I wont play GI Joes with my nephew until he learns to play it right. He's 4 years old, he should know better than to drag Vader into this."

"An archeologist found a tampon. He wondered what period it was from. (Not my joke! Credit to Shane Koyczan's poet friend)"

"How did the feminist die? Alone"

"I'm so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones."

"What's the best part about a hooker dying on you? The second hour's free."