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Joke of the Day

"What comes after 69 ? Mouthwash"

"Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching Sex Ed? She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy."

"I've hit hard times, and to make money I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner. Because right now it's just gathering dust."

"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"

"I can't afford Netflix... So how about Putlocker and rape?"

"I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious."

"As an atheist, I often wonder : ""what would Jesus do ?"" and then I do nothing"

"Tell a sad story in 4 words Lifetime Cleveland Browns fan"

"I was looking at the baseball, trying to figure out why it was getting larger. Then it hit me."

"Did you hear about the farmer who equipped all his horses with firearms? He was a man who really wanted more bang for his buck."