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Joke of the Day

"Im new to reddit S.O.S How did I asap Iraq.... I ran"

"I tell my wife we are broke so we don't end up broke."

"How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd."

"Girl hey what's up? Boy if i tell you, will you sit on it? Sex is like a misdmeanor, the kore i miss it, the meaner i get."

"I'm really looking forward to the next stop on my Mediterranean cruise. The captain said we're just a few clicks out from Harem Bay."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."

"just got vinegar in my eye so I totally get it, girls who get vinegar in their eye"

"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"

"What's the difference between a hooker and your wife? You pay the hooker and she does what you want. And you pay your wife and she does what she wants."