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Joke of the Day

"I'm an Obama supporter but there's no escaping the harsh truth that Batman v Superman happened on his watch."

"If you win three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga instructor."

"Coffee is a gateway drug. You end up stirring liquid with increasingly larger sticks until eventually you're paddling a kayak."

"This is marketing!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE-SbJbl2co"

"Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off? He's a whole two feet shorter."

"Netflix would be by far the best dating site. ""Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"""

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door."

"*baby takes first step* wow took you long enough"

"I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby.... But I have no clue how to make an iPhone..."

"Jessica Simpson has already taught her daughter everything she knows."